What Hurts the Most
by Beauty4Ashes
Summary: After nearly eleven months of being married, Esteban and Maddie get in a huge fight. Now Esteban has to live with her memories and not being able to tell her how much he loves her. Songfic ONE SHOT Maddie


**Summery: After nearly eleven months of being married, Esteban and Maddie get in a huge fight. Now Esteban has to live with her memories and not being able to tell her how much he loves her. ONE SHOT Maddie&Esteban**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Suite Life of Zack & Cody**

**What Hurts The Most**

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house_

_That don't bother me_

_I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out_

_I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while_

_Even though going on with you gone still upsets me_

_There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok_

_But that's not what gets me_

Esteban Ramirez sat on the couch in his small apartment with his chin in his hands. Rain pelted on the room. Tears ran down his cheeks as he recalled Maddie's angry words. They had hurt him when she had said them a few days ago, and they still hurt him now. Esteban couldn't believe that after being so happily married and having a child together that one small thing would wreck their entire marriage. Esteban's eyes sought the door. The door that Maddie had slammed when she had walked out of his life forever.

_What hurts the most_

_Was being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

_And never knowing_

_What could have been_

_And not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was tryin' to do_

Esteban could still recall her laugh, her smile. The smile that had lit up a whole room and set Esteban's heart aflame. Sighing, Esteban stood and walked towards the window, looking out at the pouring rain. The weather was fit perfect with Esteban's mood. Since Maddie had walked out of his life, taking their child with her, he had hardly smiled or even dared to laugh. There was no joy without Maddie around. She had taken that with her as well.

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go_

_But I'm doin' it_

_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone_

_Still Harder_

_Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret_

_But I know if I could do it over_

_I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart_

_That I left unspoken_

Esteban leaned his head against the window, as he stared blankly at his reflection. Hallow eyes of a broken and forsaken man met his gaze. As he continued to look out the window, Esteban saw a familiar figure. Drenched with rain, he saw Maddie pushing her way through the packed Boston street. Esteban caught the longing look in her eye as she hurried past the apartment building. Did she harbor any regrets? Did she know how Esteban felt? That he couldn't possibly live without her? Esteban shook his head. Maddie didn't know. She didn't know how much he was still in love with her and couldn't stand the thought of her possibly finding another guy.

_What hurts the most_

_Is being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

_And never knowing_

_What could have been_

_And not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was trying to do_

As Esteban watched Maddie disapear into the mass of people, he wondered if she remembered the dance he had with her on the night of her senior prom. Esteban smiled at the memory. Maddie had been so frantic about not finding a date, that she had asked Esteban if he might take her so she wouldn't look foolish. He had happily oblige her not knowing that he real reasons for asking him was because she was so much in love with him.

_What hurts the most_

_Is being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

_And never knowing_

_What could have been_

_And not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was trying to do_

As Esteban turned away from the window, there was a knock at his apartment door. Surprised that anyone would be visiting so late at night, he answered it. Esteban's jaw dropped when he saw Maddie standing there. A thrilling sensation shot through him as he took the baby from her. Maddie followed him inside as Esteban laid the baby on the couch, and then turned to Maddie who smiled and threw her arms around him, saying she never wanted to let him go again.

_Not seeing that loving you_

_That's what I was trying to do_

_Ooohhh. . ._

Esteban looked down at her with love in his dark eyes. Just the sigh of her in his arms again was so beautiful, so memorizing, so breathtaking. Slightly Esteban moved a strand of her wet blonde hair away from her face as he caressed her cheek. Just being with her again made Esteban fall in love all over. If Maddie hadn't come back to him, he didn't know what he would do without her. She was his life, his breath, his muse, his song, she was his heart, his soul. Pulling her even closer, Maddie looked up at Esteban with eyes that held a thousand apologizes. Esteban leaned close to her and kissed her softly. He knew in that brief moment that she loved him as much as he loved her and would never leave again.

**So what do you think of my first songfic? Please review! Song "What Hurts the Most" is by Rascal Flatts**


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